501-"Warrior Of The Lost World" (1985)-A horrible film combining the worst
elements of the "Mad Max" films, "City Limits" any number of the poorly-made,
post-apocalyptic movies that sprang up in the early-to-mid 1980's.  Robert Ginty
("The Exterminator", "That 'Paper Chase' Guy"), a mumbling, lethagic
non-performer that makes Wendall Corey ("Planet Of The Prehistoric Women") look
manic, "stars" as the title character.  Equipped with a "supersonic speedcycle"
(a terrible contraption that spouts words like "Bad Mothers", "Geeks" and
"Dickheads"), Ginty agrees to help Persis Khambatta ("Star Trek: The Motion
Picture"-with hair) rescue her father (Jimmy Carter look-a-like Harrison Muller)
from the clutches of evil Omegans, Donald Pleasence ("Cul-De-Sac", "Fantastic
Journey") and Fred "The Hammer" Williamson.  Movie tries to tell us that the
goofy, spacey, androgynous look that was popular for about two weeks back in
1984, will be the look of the future, except soldiers, who will wear all black.
Don't expect anything from the silly "surprise" ending, either.  Great riffing
and decent skits ("The Driver's License" and "Mega-Weapon") give this show a B
grade.

502-"Hercules" (1959)-This film spawned a multitude of sequels and four MST3K
episodes.  Herc, played by Steve Reeves (the original and still the best), gets
to beat up a bunch of guys, kill a lion, meet some swinging Amazons and help
Ulysses search for the Golden Fleech (or, in this case, a ratty bathrobe). This
is one of those films, along with "Marooned", "The Magic Sword" and "The Painted
Hills", that was rather popular when first released, and isn't all that bad
unMiSTed.  Quips are fast and furious and the sketches ("Hamilton, Joe Frank &
Reynolds", Greek Constellations and Crow's "Match Game" rendering) are great.
An "A" outing all the way.

503-"Swamp Diamonds" (aka-"Swamp Woman")-Another Corman crappie, features Mike
"Mannix" Connors (who, for some reason, was calling himself "Touch") plays a
hostage to three convicts of the "Nardo Gang".  The trio, Marie Windsor, Beverly
Garland and Jill Harmyn, along with planted cop, Carole Mathews, escape from
prison and make a bee-line to the Louisiana swamp to find some hidden diamond
(hence, the title).  Connors spends most of the time trussed up and abused by
the three before falling in love with the mannish Mathews. Short, "What To Do On
a Date" is one of my all-time favorites, as is the running gag of Servo going on
a "date" with Gypsy.  Earns an unqualified A.

504-"Secret Agent Super Dragon" (1966)-B-actor, Ray Danton ("I'll Cry Tomorrow",
"The Longest Day") attempts to jump on the Bond spy flick bandwagon and falls
flat on his face. An Italian-French-Monaccan production that takes place mostly
in Amsterdam, and has Danton attempting to stop a South American drug cartel
from spiking America's chewing gum with LSD.  Bumbling sidekick, "Baby Face"
(Jess Hahn), gruff boss, "Coleman" (Gerhard Haerter) and buxon blonde squeeze,
"Charity Farrel" (Maisa Mell) round out the incompetent, stereotypical cast.
Riffing is okay, as are the annoying robot and virtual comedy skits, but not
much else.  A "C" at best.

505-"The Magic Voyage Of Sinbad" (1953)-A Soviet production that was not
released in the U.S. until 1962, when Francis Ford Coppola wrote the English
version.  The title, which has nothing to do with the actual legend, was
probably tacked on by an ignorant studio lackey.  Sergey Stolyarov ("The Sword
And The Dragon") plays the great "Sinbad" and leads his crew of reprobates on a
journey that leads to the defeat of the Vikings (yeah, right), the capture of
the Bird of Paradise from India and finally, a trip under the sea for a
surrealistic visit with King and Queen Neptune (highlighted by the amazing
special effect of lowering a  plastic "Sinbad" doll into a fishtank). Movie ends
as "Sinbad" stares directly into the camera, and into our souls.  Great skits
(The Rat Pack Chess Set, Crow's Journey and the Puppet Question), along with
first class jokes make this an enjoyable B+ episode.

506-"Eegah!" (1962)-Put Richard Kiel ("The Human Duplicators") and Arch Hall,
Jr. ("Nasty Rabbit", "Wild Guitar") in a film directed by Ray Dennis Steckler,
or "Cash Flagg" ("Rat Pfink A-Boo-Boo", "The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who
Stopped Living And Became Crazy, Mix-Up Zombies", "The Hollywood Strangler Meets
The Skid Row Slasher") and you have a production that makes "Manos" look like
"Citizen Kane".  Vicki (Carolyn Brandt) is dating the pasty-faced, annoying,
non-talented Hall, but discovers caveman Kiel in the desert looking for her
father, and it's love at first shave. Unfortunately, when they leave, the
dim-witted Eegah follows and ends up "terrorizing" patrons in a motel restaurant
(check out the scene-the chef is actually LAUGHING, while the diners do their
best to look scared). As a special "treat", we get to hear Hall (and his
"group", The Archers) "sing" several songs.  Kiel meets his end in a motel
swimming pool.  Truly awful.  Great riffs, though, and the host segments,
including replacing Frank's bllod with radiator fluid, turning Joel into Arch
Hall, Jr. and Tom and Crow trying to "wash" the film away, are great.  A-
episode all the way.

507-"I Accuse My Parents" (1945)-Show starts with the hilarious Cake N' Shake
invention and then the short feature "The Truck Farmer" is perfectly roasted.
Main film, a weak 1940's juvenile delinquent film, is an underrated MST3K
classic.  Stars Mary Beth Hughes, the blonde who would later turn up in "The
Last Of The Wild Horses".  As with "The Violent Years", parents are at fault for
children's crime spress and are sternly lectured by the "judge".  B+ in my book.

508-"Operation Double 007" (aka-"Secret Agent 00", "Operation Kid Brother")
(1967)-Film tried to cash in on Sean Connery's Bond film popularity by casting
his incompetent, untalented brother, Neil, in the title role.  Connery, The
Younger, plays a plastic surgeon who dabbles in spyjinks, who is also proficient
in lip-reading and hynotism.  Not much suspense when he has the ability to
hypnotize anyone to do his will, so he never loses in any situation. The film
tried to be clever and subtle with the Bond references, but the hit like a
16-ton weight.  Stock Bond characters such as Bernard Lee ("M") and Lois Maxwell
("Miss Moneypenny") appear, playing the same characters with different names.
Connery's character is even called "Connery" and described as "the brother of
one of our brightest agents".  As an added touch, "Thunderball" villian, Adolfo
Celi, plays the bad guy, who, surrounded by a bevy of beautiful women, attempts
to take over the world via a de-magnetic device.  Bizarre (and yet, unexplained)
inclusion of scene where Las Vegas-type showgirls hijack a platoon of soldiers
adds to the overall awfulness of picture.  Halfway decent MiSTing and Torgo's
return to Dep 13, though, make this one worth watching.

509-"Girl In Lover's Lane" (1960)-Spoiled rich kid (Lowell Brown) hops a freight
and meets a sophisticated bum (Brett Halsey) who agrees to show him the ropes.
They hop off in a small Southern California town, where they meet greasy spoon
owner (Emile Meyer-"Paths Of Glory") and his daughter (Joyce Meadows).  Halsey
and Meadows fall in love, but village idiot, (Jack Elam) proves his insane
jealousy by killing her.  At first father and whole town blames Halsey, until
Brown forces Elam to confess.  A dull film is more than compensated by riffing
and one of the great invention exchanges (by the MADs) of all-time.  Evil
(Baseball) Event Days features Peppermint Schnapps and tire iron double-hitter,
odorless, colorless toxic fumes night and Crossbow Night, featuring the San
Diego Chicken, had me rolling on the floor.  Crow's impersonation of Jack Elam
and the "Train Song" are top-notch.  I give it a B.

510-"The Painted Hills" (1951)-I liked everything about this episode.  From the
opening short, "Body Care And Grooming", to the debate sketch where Crow and Tom
argue about whether the girl in that featurette is better neat or unkempt, to
the riffing of the main film, starring Lassie as "Shep".  Jonathan (Paul Kelly-a
Kenny Rogers look-alike) strikes it rich, but his investment partner has died,
leaving son, Tommy (Gary Gray), and widow (Ann Doran) to reap the benefits.
Joined by Lin (Bruce Cowling), another investor, Jonathan and Tommy set up camp
and begin looking for the mother lode.  Unfortunately, Lin develops "The
Treasure Of The Sierra Madre" syndrome, kills Jonathan and tries to off "Shep"
with a poison dog biscuit.  Justice triumphs as he is forced off a cliff by
"Shep" Almost perfect quipping and skits, Rutherford "P." Hayes and bringing
Lassie to justice.  Great A show.

511-"Gunslinger" (1956)-Color-Roger Corman's journey into the western genre is
about as smooth as a Louis Farrakhan visit to Skokie, Illinois. As well as being
the first MiSTed film of this type, it also boasts a rather well-known cast,
including Beverly Garland ("It Conquered The World", "Swamp Diamonds"), John
Ireland (Oscar-nominated for "All The King's Men"), and  Bruno Ve Sota ("Attack
Of The Giant Leeches", "Daddy-O").  Garland plays wife of sheriff William
Schallert (the dad in "The Patty Duke Show"), who takes over his job after he's
gunned down during the opening credits. Ireland is a Black Bart-type gunfighter
hired by saloon-owner Erlea Page (Allison Hayes) to get rid of her.  Naturally,
the two fall in love and ultimately go gunning for each other. Weird sub-plot
has Ireland out to avenge some kind of Civil War wrong. Typical Corman silliness
offers little for the gallery to poke fun at, and makes this one of my least
favorite episodes.  Burdened with unspectacular skits and a dull film, this one
only gets a "D" in my book.

512-"Mitchell" (1975)-Color-This theatrical release has "Made For TV" written
all over it, and sports a cast almost as large as "It's A Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad
World."  Most of all, though, it will be forever known as show creator Joel
Hodgson's swan song from MST3K, but more about that later.  Film typecasts Joe
Don Baker ("Walking Tall") perfectly as a fat, slobbering, mumbling drunken sot
of a cop attempting to break up a heroin ring headed by Academy Award winner,
Martin Balsalm ("A Thousand Clowns"), and his goofy henchman, Merlin Olson
("Father Murphy").  Television movie mainstay, John Saxon, also makes an
appearance, but quickly disappears.  Mitchell, rock-stupid and as attractive and
sexually alluring as a beached humpback whale, nevertheless triumphs in the end,
and even beds a pre-"Dynasty" Linda Evans (in a most stomach-churning scene).
Throughout episode, though, is the running sketch about Joel's departure.
First, we're introduced to his replacement, Mike Nelson, who is working as a
temp doing inventory in Deep 13.  Then, Gypsy, in a hilarious scene parodying
"2001: A Space Odyssey," thinks Dr. F and Frank are planning to kill Joel.
Finally, by outwitting the dullard Frank into giving her the access code to the
escape pod (packed in a crate of Hamdingers), she secrets Robinson away from the
Satellite of Love, and into the outback of the Australian frontier.  Show ends
with Dr. F looking at Nelson with an evil grin and asking what size jumpsuit
he wears. Needless to say, this is one of the most popular episodes with fans
of the show, and it's not hard to see why. A delicious "A+" all the way.

513-"The Brain That Wouldn't Die" (aka-"The Head That Wouldn't Die") (1959)-B&W-
Mike Nelson takes over for Joel Hodgson, and, after a rather slow start, begins
to fill the theatre seat quite comfortably.  Funny opening bit has Tom and Crow
quizzing him on past experiments, while he racks his brain for the right
response.  His invention, however, is a lame gutter/umbrella contraption that
the 'bots go overboard in praising.  In contrast is the hilarious balloon-buster
created by Dr. F.  The MADs always get the best of the invention exchanges
because their ideas are mostly evil and cruel, while Joel/Mike and Co. always
have to be Politically Correct.  Bad is funnier than good.  Anyway, the film is
a rather interesting tale of a dedicated doctor (Herb "Jason" Evers), who,
during the course of an unseen auto accident, causes the death of his lovely
nurse/fiancee, Jan (Virginia Leath).  Scooping up her severed cranium like a
Buffalo Bills' fumble in a Super Bowl game, Evers takes it to his country home
laboratory, and somehow preserves it. The dememted doc then plans to graft it
onto the body of another shapely woman, but the troublesome Jan (in a lasagna pan)
begins to ridicule the idea, and constantly nags for him to let her die. She bothers
him so much, that in one hilarious scene, he TAPES her mouth shut, much to our glee.
Now possessed with telepathic powers, Jan "commands" a pih-headed mutant behind
a locked door to kill Evers' assistant, and finally the doctor, himself, as
everything ends in a cataclysmic inferno.  Hat Party skit is stupid, but the
concluding Jan-In-The-Pan take-off is great.  The novelty of Nelson's first show
aside, this is a fairly enjoyable "B-" episode.

514-"Teenage Strangler" (1964)-Color-This turkey gives new meaning to the term,
"low-budget," but it does fit nicely into the "so-bad-it's-good" category.
Filmed in Huntington, West Virginia (like most epics), it relates the story of a
teacher-turned-janitor, who gets his revenge by strangling women, mostly
teenyboppers, hence, the title. Laughable acting, pacing and direction are
compensated only by the poor script and horrible audio-visual techniques.  It's
amazing to me that it was even filmed in COLOR. Movie is best-remembered,
though, because of the touching relationship between the hero (Bill A. Bloom),
and his goofy kid brother, Mikey (Bill Mills-in a performance that has to be
seen to be believed).  Big "musical" number is "Yipe Stripes", sung by a
barefoot waitress on top of a greasy spoon diner's counter, while dozens of
teenage extras gad about embarrassingly. Short feature, "Is This Love?", a story
of a stupid coed and the geek she falls for, is roasted to perfection, as is the
main film.  Great sketchwork includes Mike's attempt to "dialogue" with the 'bots
(he ends up singing, "Get Together"), and their turning him into the dorky kid
brother of the movie.  A "B+" all around for this one.

515-"The Wild (Wild) World Of Batwoman" (aka-"She Was A Hippy Vampire") (1966)-
Color-It's certainly no coincidence that this film was released right smack in
the middle of the "Batman" craze.  The campy ABC show, starring Adam West, had
debuted to stratospheric ratings, and was even on twice a week. Both time slots
cracked the Neilson's Top Ten, and Caped Crusader merchandise was hotter than a
day game at Busch Memorial Stadium in July.  Enter Jerry Warren (no relation to
"Manos'" Hal Warren, other than the same ability to direct a motion picture),
who released it under the "Batwoman" tag, only to be sued.  He quickly changed
the title, but this bomb is a bomb no matter what you call it. Busty Katherine
Victor plays the title role as straight-faced as she can, despite ridiculous
hair, mask and accessories.  She leads a group of beautiful, bikini-clad
dingbats against the forces of evil, represented by Rat Fink (an obvious play on
Ray Dennis Steckler's "Rat Fink A-Boo-Boo") and his bumbling assistants, Dr.
Neon, and Heathcliff (an embarrassing performance as a hunchbacked cretin).  The
"plot" has the Fink attempting to steal an atomic-powered hearing aid, of all
things, and the entire movie is about as coherent as one of Muhammad Ali's
speeches.  MiSTing of this one, as well as the cheating short that come before
it, are first-class.  Skits, which include Frank's atomic hairdryer ("Demon!
DEMON!!"), and Crow's cheating scandal, are wonderful. Great "A-" episode.

516-"Alien From L.A." (1987)-Color- Casting supermodel Kathy Ireland as an
unattractive, uncouth, gangly goofball is like recruiting Arnold Schwartzenegger
and Sylvester Stallone to play the leads in "Revenge Of The Nerds," but the
production team of Golan-Globus ("Runaway Train") decided to, anyway. Even with
the name of "Wanda", big glasses, and a high-pitched, irritating voice, she is
still drop-dead gorgeous, and making the audience beleive that her boyfriend
would dump her is just too absurd for words.  The convenient break-up, though,
allows Ireland to fall through a plothole, while searching for her father, and
end up in the lost city of Atlantis, located somewhere in the earth's crust,
contrary to theories put forth in "Hercules And The Captive Women" and "Fire
Maidens Of Outer Space." This subterranian world is populated by bad-acting
(even compared to Ireland), quasi-Australian, Culture Club and "Mad Max" rejects
we've all grown to despise, and action is about as suspenseful as sitting in
your kitchen waiting for a microwave burrito to finish cooking.  Father and daughter
eventually escape, and Wanda, now suddenly "beautiful", gets to humiliate her
contrite ex-boyfriend.  MiSTing is fine, but skits, which all deal with
Ireland's looks or "acting" abilities, go nowhere.  A "C", at best.

517-"Beginning Of The End" (1957)-B&W-This Bert I. Gordon ("It Conquered The
World", "Earth vs. The Spider") cheapie was once described as "the `Citizen
Kane' of giant grasshopper movies," which makes about as much sense as saying
that MST3K is "the `Citizen Kane' of TV shows in which a human and two puppets
make fun of bad movies."  There's simply nothing to compare either one with.  If
you like enlarged insects with your Peter Graves, though, this one's for you.
Taking time out from his "Fury" schedule, Graves (voted Best Actor by the
newsgroup) plays a "government scientist", who, after radiating some plant life
(hence the silly scenes of giant strawberries and tomatoes), realizes,
especially after his own assistant is devoured by one, that the local locusts
are getting out of hand.  Which brings up this query: why are only strawberries,
tomatoes and grasshoppers growing to gargantuan proportions?  Wouldn't
EVERYTHING that came in contact with the radiation increase in size? Unable to
logically answer those questions, Bert seems content to film various rear-projected images and
shots of the pesky critters crawling about on postcards, while boring us to
tears.  And while not especially enthralled with the film, or the MiSTing, I am
a big fan of the sketches, which include a peek into Deep 13 ("I just couldn't
keep from picking at that pan of lemon bars.  I ate half the pan!"), Peter
Graves At The University Of Minnesota, and Servo's Grasshopper Night At The
Improv.  Fine, fine, "B" effort.

518-"The Atomic Brain" (aka-"Monstrosity") (1964)-B&W-Another in a long series
of bad brain flicks that populated drive-ins during the late 1950's/early
1960's.  And this is one of the worst, by far.  A wealthy matron (Majorie Eaton)
hires a mad scientist (Frank Gerstle) to transplant her brain into the body of a
beautiful young girl.  Where is #513's Herb Evers when we need him? Three girls;
an American (Erika Peters), along with a supposed Brit and Mexican, are hired by
the old bag as maids, and must submit to being poked and prodded by her.  Great
reference has the crone barking orders from her wheelchair at the top of a
staircase, when Mike says, "Oh, if only Richard Widmark were here, right now."
In the end, the English girl is mutilated, the Latina takes a swan dive off of
the roof, the old witch has her brain placed inside a cat's head (played by
Xerxes, the only decent acting job in the movie), the doctor is nuclearized in
his own parabolic suntan chamber, and the American escapes.  Proceded by "What About Juvenile Delinquency?", a short in the "Cheating" vain.  Great retorts
and decent sketches (Crow's Hank Kimble and Weather-Servo Nine) highlight this
"B+" episode.

519-"The Outlaw (Of Gor)" (1987)-Color-Unnecessary and uncalled for sequel to
"Gor", has blonde Italian nobody, Urbano Barberini, playing Tarl Cabot, a meek
professor with a magic ring.  Dragging along his fat, obnoxious, annoying loser
friend (Russell Savadier), he is transported to a desert world, where he must
contend with the likes of Jack Palance (playing a high priest in a very low
point of his career), Donna Denton (voted Worst Supporting Actress by r.a.t.m.
for playing the evil Queen), and a multitude of hackneyed, post-apocalyptic,
leather-clad idiots.  We're also treated to various nauseating shots of some
drawf's butt, along with a very tepid love affair between Barbarini and heroine,
Rebecca Ferrati.  The riffing, along with the "Tubular, Boobular Joy" song,
Palance On Palance, the MAD's dancing through the ages, and the Fabio kit,
make this a fun one to watch, and a "B" in my book.

520-"Radar Secret Service" (1950)-B&W-Film preports to instill in us all of the
advantages of the then-new technology of radar, but succeeds only in putting us
to sleep.  UnMiSTed, this would be torture, but mixed with the right amounts of
acerbic commentary, and it becomes one of my favorite episodes. A cast of fifty,
or so, play out a confusing and (almost) incomprehensible tale of government
agents utilizing the innovation to stop some bad guys from doing something
illegal.  Two women (Adele Jergens and Myrna Dell) appear in film, but I can't
explain why.  MST3K watchers will recognize two Season Two alumni, however, Sid
"Monkey Boy" Melton ("Lost Continent") and Ralph Byrd ("Jungle Goddess").
Character names like "Marge", "Pill Box", "Static" and "Blackie" enhance the
idiocy.  But this show is remembered most for the short feature, "Last Clear
Chance", one of the best such filmettes since, "Mr. B Natural." Uninvited state
trooper visits farmhouse to lecture teenage bumpkin on good driving habits, only
to watch as the stupid older brother and date have an off-screen run-in with a
locomotive.  Classic riffs and great skits (The Quinn Martin Nature Preserve and
Hypno-Helio Static Stasis) make this a solid "B+" installment.

521-"Santa Claus" (1959)-Color-There are funnier MST3K shows, but few can
surpass the total excellence of the dismantling of this seasonal Mexican import.
Highly-praised in its day, this turkey has been called a "camp classic," but,
since much of the "camp" is unintentional, the so-called cleverness is
tarnished.  And the idea to team up Kris Kringle with Merlin the Magician in a
battle royale with Lucifer over the soul of a little girl is the stuff that drug
addiction is made of, not simple holiday fantasy. Nevertheless, I liked
everything about this one.  From the embarrassing, stereotypical opening number,
to Santa's secret hideaway on another planet, to his evil, laughing wind-up
reindeer, to his final conflict with "Mr. Pitch" (after being treed by a
bulldog).  All the while, St. Nick manages to give a cheap doll to an
impoverished child, crush three juvenile offenders, and get the Devil hosed off
by some inept Mexican police officers.  MiSTing is fast, furious, and right-on
target, as are the skits, including A Visit From The Nelson's and a fight between
Santa and Pitch in Deep 13.  The only negative part is the song, "Merry Christmas,
If That's Okay" (especially compared with the vastly superior, "A Patrick Swayze
Christmas"), but even that cannot take away from an almost perfect, "A"
episode.

522-"Teenage Crimewave" (1955)-B&W-Typical teenploitation film of the mid-
1950's.  This one tells of a pretty young girl (Sue England) who teams up with a
tough, k.d. lang-type (Mollie McCart), and her her brutal, dwarfish boyfiriend,
"Mike Denton" (Tommy Cook), to rob a fat guy outside a bar.  After helping the
gals escape from the station wagon taking them to reform school, Mike takes the
girls to a refuge inside a farmhouse, using the two elderly occupants (and later
their handsome son) as hostages.  After a murder or two, a minor, unexciting
chase scene follows, and like "The Crawling Eye" (see #101), the film ends
(mecifully) in an observatory.  Rare example of a show in which the skits (Myst-
O's, Doughy Guys, a failed escape attempt, and the Mace Mousse) are light years
ahead of the riffs.  So much so, that this one earns a "B+".

523-"Village Of The Giants" (1965)-Color-It's interesting to see so many well-
known faces in this goofy Bert I. Gordon story of a kid who invents a substance
that makes living things grow to colossal proportions.  The juvenile genius is
played by none other than "Andy Griffith's" boy, Ronny Howard, who was, no
doubt, making more money than all of the other cast members combined.  Joining
him are Tommy Kirk ("Catalina Caper"); Johnny Crawford (late of "The Rifleman");
Beau Bridges ("The Fabulous Baker Boys"); Toni Basil ("American Grafitti" and
singer of the 1982 Number One hit, "Mickey"); Joseph Turkel ("Paths Of Glory");
and Jimm Begg ("Catalina Caper", "The Ghost And Mr. Chicken").  Bridges, showing
none of the talent of his father or brother, leads a mild pack of bleach-blonde
boneheads who pilfer the pink stuff, grow out of their clothes (although they do
manage to find some appropriate theatrical costumes that, somehow, seem to
fit!), and gently terrorize a village full of idiots.  And even though they
can just step on the populace at will, their only means of envoking fear is to
kidnap  sheriff Turkel's daughter. They do, however, manage to humiliate Kirk
(forcing him to bring them fried chicken and back-handing him), before Opie
invents a shrinking fog (dispensing it amongst the "giants" by riding circles
around them on his bicycle).  Baddies then shrink and skulk back from wence they
came.  Don't miss great shot of Crawford being pick up by one of the huge women,
placed inside her bra and almost jiggled to death ("Be careful what you wish
for." sighs Mike). MiSTing is almost perfect, as is the running sketch about
Frank being fired, Torgo being hired, and Frank being rehired.  All told, this
is one great "A" episode in my opinion.

524-"12 To The Moon" (1960)-Color-This film is a poor second cousin to the
German-Polish production of "The First Spaceship On Venus" (see #211), which was
a pretty bad movie in its own right.  It features an intergrated and
Politically-Correct gaggle of astronauts, including Cery Devlin as the token
black; Michi Kobe, the Asian female doctor; Anne-Lisa, the curvacious Swede;
John Wengraf, the son of an ex-Nazi; Tom Conway, the Commie Russian; Richard
Weber, the Polish-Jew; Tema Bey, the non-descript Turk; Luis Vargas, the seldom-
seen and never-missed Spaniard; Phillip Baird, as the treacherous Frenchman, and
a Brit who is killed off as soon as they touch down on the lunar surface.  Led
by American Ken Clarke ("Attack Of The Giant Leeches"), this dirty dozen
discover a race of moon people who would rather freeze the earth than put up
with annoying visitors (hey, who wouldn't?!). Short before main feature is the
surreal, "Design For Dreaming", a videologue of those automobile show Moto-Ramas
so popular in the late 1940's and early 1950's.  Decent MiSTing, and running skit
about Nuveena, woman of the future make this a solid "B" episode.

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