Q

"Quick, somebody get her a sandwich." -Crow. #201(RXM)
 
 

R

"Raul...You come back in this bad movie this instant!" -Tom Servo. #822(OatMB)

"'*Read* you'?? I *love* you!" -Joel (as NASA technician). #401(ST)

"Real Africa, Hollywood Africa." -** #802(LW)

"Red flare at night, lizards fight." -Tom Servo. #210(KD)

"Red sky at morning, monsters take warning." -Joel. #308(GvG)

"Remember last week, when he was alive? Well, that didn't last..." -Joel (as Taylor). #510(L:tPH)

"Remember, when making a dramatic film, be sure to use genuine actors." -**. #807(TFtY5000)

"Remind me to hit you later." -Crow (as Bartender). #207(WR)

"Remind me to kill you later." -Tom Servo (as Hugh Beaumont). #208(LC)

"Remind your engineers to use coasters on me." -Crow (as the Table). #504(SASD)

"Rex Dart -- Eskimo Spy!" -**. #212(GvM)

"Ribs! *That's* what I'm hungry for!" -Joel (as Insensitive Reporter). #309(tACM)

"Rick Sloane pioneered the "standing in a stiff line near the trouble guy" shot." -Tom Servo. #907(Hobgoblins)

"Riverdance...the strip show." -Tom. #812(TISC)

"Rock climbing, Joel..." -Tom Servo. #208(LC)

"Rocky, have you ever had a funny feeling you're about to get slugged?" "Here, let me complete the thought --" -Winky/Joel (as Rocky Jones). #417(CotM)

"Rodeos are the opiate of the masses." -Tom Servo. #407(tKS)

"Roger, this is God. Pick up the pace!" -Crow (as God). #317(VWatSS)

"Roji Panty Complex?" -Tom Servo. #819(IotNM)

"Rowsdower..?" -Troy #910(TFS)
 
 

S

"Saaaay!..." -Tom Servo. #302(Gamera) et al.

"Saaaay... These Klan meetings have really lightened up!" -Tom Servo. #204(CC)

"Saaaay... Who's the new girl?" -Tom Servo. #311(ICtW)

"Sadly, Sinbad wandered to the edge of the enchanted sea..." "...and had a magic B.M." -Narrator/Tom Servo (as Narrator). #505(tMVoS)

"Sample my *fist*, you community theater reject!" -TV's Frank. #402(tGGM)

"Sandcrabs are using their death ray!!" -Crow. #906(SC)

"'Santa bites the bishop'??" -Tom Servo. #505(tMVoS)

"Santa's doing the forbidden dance!" -Crow. #521(SC)

"Sargeants Gladys and Peggy." -Mike. #819(IotNM)

"SAT Farms of the Future!" -Crow. #822(OatMB)

"Say, y'know, it's been two hours, but it's still pretty warm..." -TV's Frank. #424(M:tHoF)

"Scare me?" -Crow. #309(tACM) et al.

"Scientists aren't sure what this represents." -Mike (as Narrator). #608(CN:DH)

"Seemed like a nice enough fellow... AT FIRST!..." -Crow/Tom Servo. #105(tCV) et al.

"Seen it... hated it... taped it..." -Tom Servo/Joel/Crow. #304(GvB)

"See no evil... Well, maybe just a little. Yeah!..." -Joel (as Kiko the Monkey). #104(WotPP)

"See, *this* should have a brain in it." -Mike (as Robbie). #516(AfLA)

"See what you can do about making this lobby spookier." -Crow (as Doctor). #413(MiS)

"See you when I can. Is that vague enough for you?" -Crow (as Mr. Parkins). #610(tVY)

"Send in the clowns -- Oh! Don't bother, they're here." -Tom Servo (as Sec. Drake). #413(MiS)

"Sentence fragments... just phrases!!" -Crow (as McReany). #907 (Hobgoblins)

"Shame fuels the economy!" -Dr. Forrester. #505(tMVoS)

"She could eat corn-on-the-cob through a picket fence." -**. #101(tCE)

"She feels for me, and I feel for her, and we're free to express it..." "--*naked*." -Cabot/Crow (as Cabot). #519(Outlaw)

"She had to sit next to -- THE STINKY GUY!" -Joel. #323(CoFM)

"She'll be perfect for my experiments..." -Joel (as Tang). #104(WotPP) et al.

"She meant *walk* the dog, not *wok* the dog!" -**. #K22(LotD)

"She really likes me! Really...sure, I hypnotized her a little to part...but I can tell she really likes me!!" -Tom Servo (as Vorelli). #818(DD)

"She's afraid of Vorelli doing things to her mind..." "EXOTIC LOCATIONS!!" -Secretary/Mike. #818(DD)

"She's dancing with a _Spitting Image_ puppet!" -Mike. #818(DD)

"She's a prostitute. You can't really shame her, okay?" -Joel. #509(tGiLL)

"She's dressed like Minnie Mouse, only many times HOTTER!" -Tom Servo. #601(GT)

"She's got a frontal bike-rack!" -Crow. #515(tWWWoBW)

"She's got an armadillo down 'er trousers!" -Crow (as Captain). #820(SM)

"She's got a swing on her back porch." -Crow. #K19(tMEoS)

"She's got her radio tuned to the Marching Band Station." -Mike. #517(tBotE)

"She's looking right at his throat..." -Crow. #510(L:tPH)

"She's the kind of girl you bring home to Mother... if Mother is a cigaretty, retired hooker." -Tom Servo. #907(Hobgoblins)

"She's very attractive when she weeps. Like death warmed over." -Tom Servo. #K10(HW)

"She turned into a slightly overdone potroast." -Crow. #806(tU)

"She wouldn't have me on a silver platter." "How about on an air mattress slathered with butter?" -Major Moore/Tom Servo. #109(PMB)

"Shield your eyes, Frank..." -Dr. Forrester. #321(SCCtM)

"Should I get out the anatomically correct doll?" -** (as White Goddess). #203(JG)

"Should I go put a horse's head in my bed again?" -Crow (as Borman). #204(CC)

"Shouldn't we be carefully placing these comic books in plastic bags?" "No, we have lives." -Crow/Tom Servo. #403(CL)

"Shut up, Frank, or I'll let the dog play with you." -Dr. Forrester. #415(The Beatniks)

"Since when did NASA paint anything red?" -Tom Servo. #401(ST)

"Sir Bob of Packwood." -Crow. #806(tU)

"Sir... Sir, we may be underwater, but we still have standards." -Crow. #505(tMVoS)

"Sister, that dress is headed for trouble and it's taking you with it." -Crow. #316(GvZ)

"Six-year-olds and nuclear weapons: a combination that just can't be beat." -Tom Servo. #K07(GvG)

"SLEEEEEEEEEEEPPP!!!! -Tom Servo. #806(tU)

"Smucker's raspberry preserves..." -Joel. #211(FSoV) et al.

"So...ancient lesbian nuns run the future." -Crow. #822(OatMB)

"So...apparently, the director has a girlfriend." -Mike. #605(CatH)

"Society didn't give me enough bullets!" -Tom Servo (as Mike). #522(TCW)

"Society owes me a Kit-Kat bar!" -Tom Servo (as Paula). #610(tVY)

"So, every time I eat a burger, an acre of this stuff disappears? I don't understand..." -**. #203(JG)

"So far, there's not thing one wrong with this movie!" -Crow. #523(VotG)

"So, have I told you I have a man up in space?... No, literally -- I have a man up in space." -Dr. Forrester. #404(TfOS)

"So, how many hours have rotary phones added to movies over the years?" -Tom Servo. #818(DD)

"So, in a way, pain is good. Otherwise, we might be hurt and not know it and die during social studies." -Tom Servo. #409(IM)

"So, in the future kids become gay agents." -Tom Servo. #821(TC)

"So, in the future there is absolutely no shame." -Mike. #820(SM)

"So, it's an armed Levi's ad." -Crow. #821(TC)

"So... I understand you two are untamed?..." -Joel (as Sheriff). #112(UY)

"So I was sitting by myself, and I said -- 'Spider'! Hahh hahh..." -Crow (as the Sheriff). #313(EvtS)

"*Sold Out*? Must have run out of *Cancelled* stickers." -Tom Servo. #818(DD)

"So long, chum!" -**. #315(TCM)

"So many children in needy families. Really bugs me." -Mike (as Mrs. Parkins). #610(tVY)

"So many people poured their entire weekend into the making of this movie." -Mike. #815(AFH)

"Someone's rubbing puppets on us!" -Crow (as Amy and Daphne). #907(Hobgoblins)

"Someone with a really big butt sat there." -Tom Servo. #101(tCE)

"Something goofy this way comes..." -**. #315(TC) et al.

"Something there is that doesn't love a crummy monster film..." -Tom Servo. #303(PP)

"Somewhere, a deer is smiling." -Mike. #522(TCW)

"Somewhere there's a warrant with his name on it. I'm sure of it." -Joel. #321(SCCtM)

"Soon I will become King of the Urias. Who wants pancakes?" -Mike (as Kermie). #605(CatH)

"Sooorrry, Mr. French..." -Tom Servo. #K09(CP)

"Sorry about the costume. Corman's poodle died, and he doesn't like to waste anything." -Crow (as Stark). #317(VWatSS)

"Sorry about the tip; I left my money in my other -- uh, pocket..." -TV's Frank. #422(tDtEF)

"Sorry, folks. Should've told you about the subplot. It even caught me, the narrator, off guard." -Mike (as the Narrator). #606(tCT)

"Sorry, I'm gonna have to impale you, that's my job..." -Joel (as the Sea Monster). #213(GvtSM)

"Sort of *Bimbo*-noir here." -Tom Servo. #904(AW)

"So the guy from _North By Northwest_ married Ruth Bader Ginsburg." -Crow. #906(SC)

"So, there's a subplot about a horseshoe, then?..." -Crow. #515(tWWWoBW)

"So this guy comes in, stops the plot cold, then leaves??" -Crow. #510(L:tPH)

"Sound? Are you getting this? Well, we'll move on, we've got a lot of other lines." -Mike. #812(TISC...)

"Sounds like a deep midwestern alien." -**. #*

"Sounds like God picked up some extra bucks doing voice-overs." -Joel. #505(tMVoS)

"Sounds like the foley guy's frying up a burger." -Crow. #404(TfOS)

"Sounds like your monster reads Frost." -Joel. #212(GvtSM)

"So, werewolves are basically Jackson Browne." -Crow. #904(AW)

"So, what does a mushroom eat for hallucinations?" -Crow. #813(JF)

"So what was that whole hitting-me-with-chains thing about?" -Crow (as Lee). #403(CL)

"So, you can just take a sharp left turn in space." -Crow. #902(PP)

"Space Chief is really Racer X, Speed's brother." -Mike. #819(IotNM)

"Spacemen just don't look at home in a breakfast nook." -Crow. #105(tCV)

"Spankin' time!" -Joel. #319(WotCB)

"Spaz-chop!" -Tom Servo. #815(AFH)

"Special agents are called in to slow the film down and grind it to a screeching halt..." -Tom Servo. #205(RAUSA)

"Special effects by _Industrial Light and Morons_." -Mike. #820(SM)

"Spill your drinks on me!" "No, they're four dollars each!" -Amy/Mike (as patrons). #907(Hobgoblins)

"Splash me on in the morning, wear the great smell of *me* all day long." -Tom Servo (as Hercules). #410(HatMM)

"Spoken like a true fart." -Tom Servo (as Diamond Head). #608(CN:DH)

"Standard sitcom joke landing on runway seven..." -Crow. #610(tVY)

"Stand by to jettison tail section..." "Oh, wowwww..." -Hugh O'Brien/Joel. #201(RXM)

"Start running, Frank..." -Dr. Forrester. #305(SiS)

"'Stately, plump Buck Mulligan came down from the stairwell...'" -**. #314(MJ) et al.

"Stay away from those powerful hind legs, boys." -**. #316(GvZ)

"Stay together, cheeks..." -Tom Servo (as Maj. Baird). #319(WotCB) et al. Also attributed to Crow, #820(SM)

"Steve, have you ever really looked at a squirrel? I mean *really*, up close." -Joel (as a Thug). #108(SP)

"Steve's dead now. From here on, Steve's death will be represented by the oboe." -Tom Servo. #209(HC)

"Still, he's not as creepy as most meter-readers."-Crow. #820(SM)

"Still, this is easier to read than _Wired_ magazine." -Crow. #822(OatMB)

"Stock footage is hell." -Crow. #309(tACM)

"Stop saying 'whee!' Nobody says 'whee!'." -Tom Servo. #506(Eegah!)

"Stop wait come back..." -Tom Servo. #406(AotGL) et al.

"Stop zooming in!  I have no emotions to show you!" -Mike. #819(IotNM)

"Store this image away for a later nightmare!" -Tom Servo. #422(tDtEF)

"'Stunned'?! He took six bullets!!" -**. #205(RAUSA)

"Stupid-Man! More powerful than an okie-motive..." -Crow. #402(tGGM)

"Stupid Topo Gigio was stepping all over our lines, the bastard." -Crow (as Vorelli). #818(DD)

"Suddenly *I'm* the jerk!" -**. #205(RAUSA)

"Sugar is the next best substitute for parental love!" -Dr. Forrester. #417(CotM)

"Suppository Man." -Tom. #819(IotNM)

"Susie doesn't think she needs a seat belt. Watch Susie go ballistic through the windshield." -Crow. #*

"SwitchERRRR!!" -Joel. #403(CL)
 

T

"Take her." "Here? In front of the circus people?" -Basil Rathbone/Crow (as Sir Branton). #411(tMS)

"Take it to the bridge, Sinbad!... Drop it in the water..." -Crow. #505(tMVoS)

"Take me, you savage mousketeer!" -Crow (as Nancy). #523(VotG)

"Take us away, little shorts!" -Mike (as kids). #819(IotNM)

"Tang's gonna go take a powder... Wait a minute -- Tang *is* a powder!" -Crow. #104(WotPP)

"Teat teat teat teat teat teat..." -Crow and Tom Servo. #516(AfLA)

"Technicolor wishes to apologize for its use in this film." -Tom. #814(RwD)

"TELL HIM, GREG!!" -All. #112(UY)

"Tell him I'm smoking." -Tom Servo (as Steve Curran). #106(tCH)

"Tell me again why they have an elaborate security system, but they don't *lock* anything?!" -Mike. #907(Hobgoblins)

"Tell me all about yourself." "Well, I don't have any bones, I'm all cartilage..." -Sadie/Tom Servo (as Danny). #509(tGiLL)

"Thank god methane rises!" -Crow. #608(CN:DH)

"Thank god we have RADAR!" -Mike (as police captain). #522(TCW) et al.

"Thanks, Bob. You're real gone." "Thanks. I'm no expert, but I'm pretty sure I'm right here." -Janey/Crow (as Bob). #112(UY)

"Thanks for almost killing me!" -**. #210(KD)

"Thanks for annihilating everything I know!" -Crow (as Joey the Lemur). #210(KD)

"Thanks for comforting me with a gun." -Crow (as Nan). #406(AotGL)

"Thanks for hurling that gas bomb at me!" -Joel (as Hestia). #416(FMoOS)

"Thanks for providing the transition." -Tom Servo. #523(VotG)

"Thanks for the all-clear, Moneypenny." -Crow (as Ward). #508(OD007)

"Thanks for the character development." -Tom Servo. #415(The Beatniks)

"Thanks for the exposition." -**. #203(JG)

"THANK YOU!" -Drs. Erhardt and Forrester. #101(tCE) et al.

"Thank you for being gutless." -Crow (as head of NASA). #201(RXM)

"Thank you for extruding me." -Crow. #510(L:tPH)

"Thank you movie, but we'd like to move on please." -Tom Servo. #821(TC)

"Thank you , Shoeshine Boy, you're humble and skeletal." -**. #110(RH)

"That bear has Hammer-pants on!" -Joel. #505(tMVoS)

"That blast to the face kinda helped her diction!" -**. #110(RH)

"That felt good... Now I'm going to turn my daughter into a woodchuck." -Tom Servo (as Dr. Cameron). #103(MM)

"That guy's not even sexual enough to be a femme." -Mike. #522(TCW)

"That guy's uglier than a mud fence. He could make a train take a dirt road." -Tom Servo. #107(RM)

"That had better be beer!" -Crow. #209(HC)

"That's a lot of fabric to wear on a cycle." -Crow. #403(CL)

"That's a pretty complex insult, for a drunk." -Crow. #407(tKS)

"That's a strange thing to wield." -**. #506(Eegah!)

"That's 40 pounds of butt in 30-pound butt capacity pants!" -Mike. #515(tWWWoBW)

"That's me, except I'm moist." -Tom Servo. #420(HD)

"That's *Mister* Stinking-rotten-mouthpiece to you." -**. #409(IM)

"That said, please enjoy your crappy sci-fi movie." -Mike. #902(PP)

"That should be my Life Haters Club calling." Tom (as Ralph). #905 (DB)

"That square bugs me... he REALLY BUGS ME!!..." -Banjo. #207(WR)

"That's right; it's nature's own wiffle." -Crow. #511(Gunslinger)

"That's right, we're evil, EVIL!!!" -TV's Frank. #202(Sidehackers)

"That's the dullest thing you've ever said." -**. #418(AottEC)

"That's the most casually dressed monster I've ever seen." -Joel. #103(MM)

"That's the tee-shirt her mom got married in." -Joel. #109(PMB)

"That's what I want -- mummified and next to Stalin." -Crow. #511(Gunslinger)

"That turtle should be showing up any time now, shouldn't it?" -Tom Servo. #K10(HW)

"That was about as painful as a cattle prod to the shoulder can get." -'Jack Perkins'. #310(FA)

"That was no meteorite -- that was my wife!" -Crow. #310(FA)

"That was number five!" -the Hillbilly Thug. #202(Sidehackers)

"That was one wierd-ass movie." -Tom Servo. #509(tGiLL)

"The anti-missiles are loaded, sir." "Shhh! Later..." -Jerry/** (as **). #314(MJ)

"The acid kicked in..." -Crow. #814(RwD)

"The aorta makes an excellent sock puppet, and from here on will be represented by the tympany." -Crow (as Dr. Raeburn). #206(RoT)

"The best beach party ever was the one at Normandy!" -TV's Frank. #204(CC)

"The best instruments are uniform -- every one is exactly like every other of the same kind." "--Just like you and me!" -Narrator/Tom Servo (as Narrator). #319(WotCB)

"The body sees a hernia as a series of ones and zeroes..." -Tom Servo (as Doctor). #413(MiS)

"The boiler room has a receptionist?" -Mike. #820(SM)

"*The Box*, Frank, *The Box*!..." -Dr. Forrester. #422(tDtEF)

"The boys did *what*? They duplicated *Lumpy*?!?" -Crow (as Hugh Beaumont). #420(HD)

"The boys in the press corps have nicknamed him 'The Golem'." -Crow. #201(RXM)

"The Cessna Skyhawk *is* usually your best choice for bombardiering missions..." -Tom Servo. #108(SP)

"The cops ate my Chiclets!" -Joel (as Leland). #419(tRS)

"The Corn Palace is built!" -Crow. #804(tDM)

"The diamond anniversary ring. Tell her you'd marry her right out of high school...all over again." -Tom. #810(GSI)

"The director got to borrow his cousin's dolly for the week." -Mike. #904(AW)

"The Dog's meat, have you seen it?" - Mrs. Hargrove #905 (DB)

"The drugs from the Chemical Wonderland start to kick in..." -Crow (as the Narrator). #419(tRS)

"The Duluth Chamber of Commerce bids you adieu." -Mike. #617(TSatD)

"The first 10,000 lucky kids get slide whistles, and the second 10,000 lucky kids get real brass knuckles. Then, the first 10,000 lucky kids become unlucky..." -Dr. Forrester. #509(tGiLL)

"The future means cheesy graphics." -Tom Servo. #821(TC)

"The fountain will spray out a substance which resembles blood, both in smell and in taste." "Who tested it?" -Chuchumi/Tom Servo. #308(GvG)

"The four dullards of the apocalypse." -Tom Servo. #416(FMoOS)

"The gods were supposed to help me move last weekend!!" -Tom Servo (as Ariel). #605(CatH)

"--the hell?!? Tom Servo, you're naked!" -Joel. #507(IAmP)

"...the helpless cough of a squirrel with a crushed face -- *that's* what life's all about." -Joel (as Lorne Green guy). #303(PP)

"The horse must have eaten her!" -Tom Servo (as Dr. Scott). #113(BS)

"Their answer is summed up in two callous words:--" "'Bor-ing'." -Judge Clara/ Crow. #610(tVY)

"Their chances of being cool are ruined for life." -Crow. #320(The Unearthly)

"Their technology must be light-years ahead of ours! Their use of stock footage is amazing!" -Joel. #104(WotPP)

"The 'K' stands for 'Karl'. Karl was the man who invented lightning." -Tom Servo. #518(tAB)

"Thelma and Louise and -- Steve." -Mike. #522(TCW)

"The mean streets of Appleton." -Crow. #618(HSB)

"The message is 'Hot, steamin' love -- Texas-style.'" -Joel (as Capt. Larson). #416(FMoOS)

"The monster can destroy everything with its tongue." "*You* try saying that without laughing." -Japanese General/Crow. #304(GvB)

"The *most* face ANY screen has held." -Tom Servo. #822(OatMB)

"The movie obsessed with straightening lamp shades." Mike #905 (DB)

"The movie that dares to ask the question 'Will he find the dwarf?'." -Tom Servo. #813(JF)

"The music, the mood, the sweeping romance of peeping." -**. #805(tTTCD)

"The name is *Jeffrey*, I happen to be *in* a helicopter." -Crow (as Helicopter Pilot). #517(tBotE)

"The night, the monster, and thou." -Crow (as Prof. Strowsky). #423(BotM)

"Then, suddenly, it starts to get wierd. The rules change..." -TV's Frank. #321(SCCtM)

"Then you will sign this lady's death warrant!" "Sure. Got a pen?" -Fu Manchu/Tom Servo (as Kessler). #323(CoFM)

"The oldest cliché in the movies -- 'they're doomed'." -**. #506(Eegah!)

"The old man calls it his *combat rod*? That's disgusting!!" -Tom Servo. #902(PP)

"The other day I said the word *damn*!! Huh, huh, huh!!" -Crow (as old party guest). #818(DD)

"The Pant Association urges you to wear pants at least three times a day!" -Joel. #410(HatMM)

"The Phantom Planet is quilted for softness!" -Mike.#902(PP)

"The plot thickens -- like rancid pea soup..." -Tom Servo. #K10(HW)

"The problem of communicating with the departed--" "--is that they're dead." -Krasker/Tom Servo (as Krasker). #603(tDTB)

"The rare happy German." -Tom Servo. #818(DD)

"There are no small laws, just small criminals." -Tom Servo. #419(tRS)

"There are times when a man needs the touch of a llama." -Crow (as Dr. Bradford). #606(tCT)

"The reason Miss van Horn is making this trip is because of her pioneering research with monatomic hydrogen." "And, she's cute as a button." -Hugh O'Brien/Crow. #201(RXM)

"The remaining monkey brains have been reduced to $1.99." -Crow (as **). #508(OD007)

"There, I just marked our territory." -Joel (as the Fat Japanese Comic-Relief guy). #308(GvG)

"There is an audible thud every time he tells a joke." -Crow. #610(tVY)

"There's a bonus if you get killed." -Joel (as Mr. Roundtree). #109(PMB)

"There's a dangerous death ray situation on the outbound 94...you might want to take an alternate route." -Mike. #620(D!DR)

"There's an angry black gentleman on line one..." -Crow (as the Lunar Switchboard Operator). #211(FSoV)

"There's just something about that guy that screams 'I'm not really a cop'." -Crow. #207(WR)

"There's no need to be formal, Mr. Martin. Please -- take off your pants." -Joel (as Prof. von Dornheimer). #420(tHD)

"There's no steam in a vaccuum!" -Tom Servo. #524(12ttM)

"There's nothing like being in a gunfight with 600 pounds of high-test nitro rocket fuel on your back..." -Joel. #108(SP)

"There's one ball of titanium that's not to be trifled with." -Joel. #K09(CP)

"There was a lot of forensics going on in Nebraska in the 50's." -Crow. #619(RZC)

"There! Your announcer feels vindicated. This is extremely horrible!" -Tom Servo (as the Narrator). #421(MaGG)

"The riveting and action-packed Accomodation scene." -**. #807(TFtY5000)

"The *Roji Panty Complex*?!!" -Mike. #819(IotNM)

"The St. Louis Parrots' mascot was burned to death today." -Tom. #701(NotBB)

"These guys are aggressively incompetent." -Tom Servo. #406(AotGL)

"These guys are really easy to kill!" -Joel. #323(CoFM)

"These two girls they make quite a pair/ They both come from your worst nightmare/ They will haunt your soul forever/ And now, when you see pink, you're gonna think, 'We're doomed!'/ They are agents of Satan..." -Tom Servo. #421(MaGG)

"The sphere is turning red!" "Well, wouldn't yours?" -Orloff/Tom Servo. #211(FSoV)

"The storm god sits quietly with his napkin in his lap, num-num-num." -Crow. #317(VWatSS)

"The tranquility of post-war Japan?!?" -Joel. #322(MN1)

"The unspoken language of bald men!" -**. #418(AottEC)

"The U.S.A. makes the best damn Sampos on the market, and I mean *nobody's* gonna change that!" -Tom Servo. #422(tDtEF)

"The White Rock Cafe, where whitey comes to drink and dance!" -**. #418(AottEC)

"The wrestling program in hell is second only to Iowa." -Crow. #624(SvtVW)

"They can't be very intelligent -- look what they're flying!" -Crow. #K09(CP)

"They just didn't care!" -All. #418(AottEC)

"They just put a bunch of movies in a blender and pressed the 'mix' button!" -Crow. #515(tWWWoBW)

"They killed H.R. Puffinstuff!" -Joel. #317(VWatSS)

"They killed off the only likeable character!" -Crow. #402(tGGM)

"They made love in their Chevy van and it's *not* allright with me!" -Tom Servo. #907(Hobgoblins)

"They never explained the blond wigs. I don't get that." -Joel. #310(FA)

"They're Corn Czechs!" -Tom Servo. #K10(HW)

"They're doing a nickel at UPS!" -**. #503(SD)

"They're doing it clown style!! Noooo!..." -Tom Servo. #422(tDtEF)

"They're going to invoke the spirit of the continuity man." -Crow. #609(tSD)

"They're like Klingons without the Kling." -Joel. #104(WotPP)

"They're making pretty good time, considering this is a Lippert film." -Tom Servo. #210(KD)

"They're not dead, they're just 'metaphysically challenged'." -Tom Servo. #411(tMS)

"They're not gonna let us drop the bomb! Don't answer it!" -Crow (as Bomber Pilot). #517(tBotE)

"They're roasting Bullwinkle!" -Joel. #422(tDtEF)

"They're trying to kill me! I guess I'll park." -Crow (as Lee). #403(CL)

"They're using every toy in the box!" -Crow. #314(MJ)

"They say you never hear the snack with your name on it." -Crow. #319(WotCB)

"They shot my spare turtlenecks!" -Joel (as Cameron Mitchell). #305(SiS)

"They were part of the second line of defense." "--also known as 'dessert'." -Narrator/Crow. #606(tCT)

"Think it's really a good idea to jingle *all* the way?" -Tom Servo. #521(SC)

"THIRD BASE!!" -All. #202(Sidehackers) et al.

"This balance of power keeps ice cream in check." -Mike (as Narrator). #603(tDTB)

"This band will appear at the Bombay Bicycle Club." -Crow. #820(SM)

"This Brown-'N'-Serve is alive!! ALIVE!!..." -Crow (as John Carradine). #320(The Unearthly)

"This contract arrived for you from a Mr. Elzebub." -Tom Servo (as Miss Grandy). #515(tWWWoBW)

"This corn relish is radioactive!" -Joel (as Steve Curran). #106(tCH)

"This dance represents that there are no baked potatoes until after five." -Mike (as Dancer). #513(tBtWD)

"This delicious meal has a flat trajectory and a muzzle velocity of 2400 feet per second." -Dr. Forrester. #319(WotCB)

"This dinosaur was found with a head sticking out of its butt!" -Mike (ala museum guide). #904(AW)

"This freezer RULES!" -Mike. #603(tDTB)

"This guy leaves grease stains in the air as he walks." -**. #808(tSC)

"This has been a test. Had this been an actual movie, you would have been entertained." -Tom Servo. #421(MaGG)

"This has got litigation written all over it." -**. #315(TC)

"This has got to be one of the most boring rides at Disneyland." -**. #102(tRvtAM)

"This is a complete redesign that I've called 'Tank Rambo'. It's an all- terrain assault Me." -Tom Servo. #420(tHD)

"This is a movie that has everything.....all wrong."  Crow. #905 (DB)

"This is _Beverly Hills Cop_, only the slow, white version." -Tom Servo. #420(tHD)

"This is from my 1935 film _The Prancing Ninny_..." -Tom Servo (as Mr. Patterson). #322(MN1)

"This is getting wierd, you guys. There's a silhouette of theater seats behind that movie." -Joel. #317(VWatSS)

"This is gonna be the front page story in the Glenview Shopper." -Crow. #610(tVY)

"This is gonna suck..." -Crow. #421(MaGG)

"This is how much pure cocaine you would need to watch this picture." -Mike. #822(OatMB)

"This is how they selected the jury for the Rodney King trial." -Crow. #505(tMVoS)

"This is it. The final game of the world series. And we're the Mariners." -Tom Servo (as Ed Mulberry). #602(IUSA)

"This is kind of looking like 'Thirtysomething' -- except for those dirty pictures in the background." Joel/Crow. #202(Sidehackers).

"This island bites. It's, like, totally Amazon-less." -Tom Servo (as a Greek sailor). #502(Hercules)

"This is less subtle than an Annie Sprinkle performance piece!" -Mike. #820(SM)

"This is like a Mentos ad!" -Mike. #515(tWWWoBW)

"This is like Up With People in prison." -Tom Servo. #112(UY)

"This is our secret fort; we're gonna keep Chen Yu out." -Joel (as Orloff). #211(FSoV)

"This is probably the longest minute in film history." -Joel. #112(UY)

"This is really gonna make the reunion show hard. Greg's back from Sweden and he looks way different." -Tom Servo. #112(UY)

"This is still better than _Congo_." -Crow. #802(LW)

"This is the 'A-Go-Go' part." -Tom Servo. #421(MaGG)

"This is the fifties...why am I explaining things to a woman...get in the car." -**. #802(LW)

"This is the kind of padding I *like* to see in a film!" -Crow. #204(CC)

"This is the most emotion ever expressed in Sweden." -Joel. #422(tDtEF)

"This is the part where the Zagnut is fertilized by the salted nut roll..." -Joel. #413(MiS)

"This is the strangest debate format I have ever seen." -Joel. #422(tDtEF)

"This is this." -Bela Lugosi. #*

"This is too nice a place for a deadly game of cat-and-mouse." -Mike. #608(CN:DH)

"This is where you step back and say, 'Thank God for my exoskeleton!'" -Crow (as Grasshoper). #517(tBotE)

"This is wild, I swear..." -Tom Servo (as Hercules). #410(HatMM)

"This is wild! I've never killed a guy like *this* before. Neat!" -Joel (as Hercules). #410(HatMM)

"This is your house, and you're in it, and I'm out here laughing!" -Joel (as scientist). #309(tACM)

"This looks like a fine place to set down my pasty white bottom." -Joel (as Prof. Norton). #406(AotGL)

"This looks like spermatozoa vacation pictures." -Joel. #405(BfAP)

"This makes _Driving Miss Daisy_ look like _Bullitt_!" -Crow. #512(Mitchell)

"This man must have led a very full and active life..." "'Cause he's got a squirrel in his stomach!" -Dr. Raeburn/Crow (as Dr. Raeburn). #206(RoT)

"This man's wearing a push-up bra. Now *he's* pleasing!" -Crow (as Prof. E.C. Buehler). #313(EvtS)

"This might be rather cynical on my part, but I put it to you that that is the same monster." -Crow. #606(tCT)

"This morning, a lone chain-man terrorized downtown Athens. No motive was apparent." -Tom Servo. #502(Hercules)

"This movie is giving me *current* traumatic stress disorder!" -Tom Servo. #907(Hobgoblins)

"This movie is just ropes and asses!" - Mike. #803(tMP)

"This movie is just sitting on my head and crushing it." -Joel. #511(Gunslinger)

"This movie sucks, Joel." -Tom Servo. #323(CoFM)

"This movie was like spending the weekend with your dentist." -Crow. #207(WR)

"This scene has powerful asexual overtones." -**. #805(tTTCD)

"This script is like a telephone directory!" -**. #315(TC)

"This was digitally recorded, then erased, then re-recorded on a dictaphone." -Mike. #812(TISC...)

"This was *written*? I don't think so!" -Crow. #821(TC)

"Thomas Edison invented the pornograph, beginning the age of pornography..." -Crow. #510(L:tPH)

"Thong? No, it's a dance belt." -Tom Servo. #301(CD)

"Thrill as he doesn't talk, and I don't move my lips." -Crow (as Vorelli). #818(DD)

"Through this maximum glass-area front, across the narrow rail, and through the wider sales-design top opening..." "To grandmother's house we go!" -Narrator/Tom Servo. #603(tDTB)

"'...tied his ass to the tree...' Heh heh heh. Love that." -Tom Servo (as Tom Grant). #522(TCW)

"Time elapsed. Just take our word for it." -Tom Servo. #518(tAB)

"Time for go to bed." -Tor Johnson. #320(The Unearthly)

"Time to drown the lemur!" -Crow (as Dick). #210(KD)

"Tiny *itchy* diodes, you mean..." -TV's Frank. #308(GvG)

"Titanium -- it's the feel-good mineral of 1999." -Joel. #K09(CP)

"Title puns. I love 'em." -Tom Servo. #311(ICtW)

"Toby will show you to your rooms. You'll be sleeping with the monkey-boy tonight." -Tom Servo (as Dr. Lorenz). #105(tCV)

"Today is dedicated to Uranus." "Why, thank you, I..." -Ismene/Crow (as Hercules). #412(HatCW)

"Today, the moon narrowly missed hitting a man's eye like a big pizza pie." "Scientists believe, that's amore." -Crow./Tom Servo. #902(PP)

"To him it's kind of a sexy puppet show." -Tom Servo. #523(VotG)

"To me, that leash screams 'unhealthy relationship'." -Crow. #515(tWWWoBW)

"Tom, I don't get you." "Nobody does. I'm the wind, baby!" -Gypsy/Tom Servo. #421(MaGG)

"Tommy Kirk discussing 'goo' makes me very uncomfortable..." -Tom Servo. #523(VotG)

"Tommy, now you quit warping time and space this instant!" -Tom Servo (as Mrs. Stevens). #303(PP)

"Tonight: Manos gets caught in a deadly game of cat and mouse..." -Tom Servo. #424(M:tHoF)

"Tonight we have a very special vintage -- nineteen *me*!" -Tom Servo (as Marlenus). #519(Outlaw)

"To put it even *more* simply: You eat like a pig." -Tom Servo (as Doctor). #413(MiS)

"Torgo, you're missing the fight! Put your dress on and get in there!" -Tom Servo. #424(M:tHoF)

"Tornado Magnet Trailer Park welcomes you!" -Mike. #906(SC)

"Trains are blameless, holy creatures..." -Mike (as Narrator). #520(RSS)

"Tripping. Still works in the future!" -Joel. #417(CotM)

"Trumpy, you can do magic things!" -Tommy. #303(PP)

"Tuesdays are human sacrifice day at the Sizzler." -Joel. #301(CD)

"Turn it off... TURN IT OFF!!..." -Tom Servo. #319(WotCB) et al.

"Two different plaids...I'm just a naked robot and even *I* know that's a fashion no-no." -Tom Servo. #821(TC)

"Two healthy students suddenly die of heart failure--" "Oh! I've heard this one..." -Comfort/Tom Servo. #504(SASD)

"Two men in a hut and..." "And??" "...The fat one takes the bed!" -**. #101(tCE)

"Two words: Get over it!!" -Dr. Forrester. #414(Tormented)
 

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